The bad news is that my wife implied a few weeks ago that she wants a divorce. I'm not going to get into the details. It's all he said, she said stuff, you promised this, you promised that, etc. I happen to think that we are on the brink of having a stable, normal relationship due to the current circumstances- the place where I just moved to (where I've always wanted to be), my current very stable employment, etc. In any case, I made a pretty strong argument for why we should stay together, and she's considering it.
Now, this next part is mainly to make myself feel better and to bolster my own ego, even though it is based on truth. Throughout my whole life, I have always looked significantly younger than my actual age, and my aging, apparently, is decelerating. When I was in my late teens, I probably looked about 75% of my age. Of course, back then, I viewed it as a curse. In my mid- 20's, I could pass for 66% of my age. By then, it didn't bother me so much. At present, without exaggeration, I can pass for approximately 50% of my age or slightly less. I seriously get carded on a regular basis for alcohol. In Canada. Where the drinking age is 18. I often laugh when I am carded, but they are not kidding around at all. They seriously think I'm 17. It's getting to the point where the server, bartender, or bouncer sees my birthdate, and you can tell by the look on his or her face that they suspect the ID to be fake. They look at me, then at the picture, then at the birthdate, then back at me, then at the picture. Then they look at the card at an angle in the light, so they can see the holograms, etc. While this is mildly annoying to me, it also really gives me a power trip. I feel like I'm a friggin' vampire or something. Like I'm immortal.
It's now fairly apparent to me that women are checking me out. It's getting to the point where there is no way that it's just in my imagination. I've always been very insecure about my looks, and, when I was in my teens all the way up until I met my wife, even if I was being blatantly flirted with, I would somehow dismiss it as being in my imagination, or I would try to purge it from my memory. I've had someone's little sister be sent after me to initiate contact, then been physically pursued across an amusement park. Yes, I was actually running away, from shock, embarrassment, or what, I don't know. I've had one of my sister's friends sneak into my room while I was sleeping. I've heard my sister's friends quite blatantly talking about me while I was driving them around. I've been followed around by a female classmate so obviously that her friends started calling her by my last name. I've been "accidentally" bumped into. I've had a girl ask a friend about me. I've seen a girl blush profusely and then look abruptly away from me when I tried to talk to her. I've asked a classmate to dance and have her stare in utter disbelief at me, then at her friend, then back at me, before saying, "ummm... OK!" and then having her friend storm off. All of these incidents, among others, I always managed to shove to the back of my mind or completely misinterpret as repulsion. Clearly, when I think back on them, I can see what was really going on. I used to think that there was no way in the world that any female could find me attractive. My wife finally convinced me otherwise. I know now that it is unlikely that what I viewed as strange reactions to me over the years were due to repulsion. More recently, like in the past week, I have had people comment about my youthful appearance and my looks, including a few ostensibly straight guys. Just this afternoon, a group of four women in their 20s were walking several feet in front of me on the sidewalk while eating ice cream. Each of them, one by one, turned to look at me. They were more than glances. I avoided eye contact. Then I heard giggling, and one of them said, "No, I didn't notice anything. I was just... looking at my ice cream."
I really think that it's in my wife's best interest to keep me around. Because if this keeps up, I'll be looking like I'm in my 20's for the next 24 years.
Now, this next part is mainly to make myself feel better and to bolster my own ego, even though it is based on truth. Throughout my whole life, I have always looked significantly younger than my actual age, and my aging, apparently, is decelerating. When I was in my late teens, I probably looked about 75% of my age. Of course, back then, I viewed it as a curse. In my mid- 20's, I could pass for 66% of my age. By then, it didn't bother me so much. At present, without exaggeration, I can pass for approximately 50% of my age or slightly less. I seriously get carded on a regular basis for alcohol. In Canada. Where the drinking age is 18. I often laugh when I am carded, but they are not kidding around at all. They seriously think I'm 17. It's getting to the point where the server, bartender, or bouncer sees my birthdate, and you can tell by the look on his or her face that they suspect the ID to be fake. They look at me, then at the picture, then at the birthdate, then back at me, then at the picture. Then they look at the card at an angle in the light, so they can see the holograms, etc. While this is mildly annoying to me, it also really gives me a power trip. I feel like I'm a friggin' vampire or something. Like I'm immortal.
It's now fairly apparent to me that women are checking me out. It's getting to the point where there is no way that it's just in my imagination. I've always been very insecure about my looks, and, when I was in my teens all the way up until I met my wife, even if I was being blatantly flirted with, I would somehow dismiss it as being in my imagination, or I would try to purge it from my memory. I've had someone's little sister be sent after me to initiate contact, then been physically pursued across an amusement park. Yes, I was actually running away, from shock, embarrassment, or what, I don't know. I've had one of my sister's friends sneak into my room while I was sleeping. I've heard my sister's friends quite blatantly talking about me while I was driving them around. I've been followed around by a female classmate so obviously that her friends started calling her by my last name. I've been "accidentally" bumped into. I've had a girl ask a friend about me. I've seen a girl blush profusely and then look abruptly away from me when I tried to talk to her. I've asked a classmate to dance and have her stare in utter disbelief at me, then at her friend, then back at me, before saying, "ummm... OK!" and then having her friend storm off. All of these incidents, among others, I always managed to shove to the back of my mind or completely misinterpret as repulsion. Clearly, when I think back on them, I can see what was really going on. I used to think that there was no way in the world that any female could find me attractive. My wife finally convinced me otherwise. I know now that it is unlikely that what I viewed as strange reactions to me over the years were due to repulsion. More recently, like in the past week, I have had people comment about my youthful appearance and my looks, including a few ostensibly straight guys. Just this afternoon, a group of four women in their 20s were walking several feet in front of me on the sidewalk while eating ice cream. Each of them, one by one, turned to look at me. They were more than glances. I avoided eye contact. Then I heard giggling, and one of them said, "No, I didn't notice anything. I was just... looking at my ice cream."
I really think that it's in my wife's best interest to keep me around. Because if this keeps up, I'll be looking like I'm in my 20's for the next 24 years.
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