May 2014 Update: Not that there is anyone reading this that would desire an explanation, but the two girls in the story below represent two specific American political parties. No, this in no way even remotely resembles anything that has happened to me in my lifetime.
So you keep hearing your friends complaining about the girls they are dating, all of whom vaguely resemble either the cheerleader or the smart chick. They have mentioned a few times what their ideal girl would be like. You point out to them that they are pretty much describing the girl you're dating. The response is always something like, "err, no, dude, she's not quite what I had in mind." You ask how she is NOT what they are describing. No one can seem to put his finger on it. They just know that she's not really their type, it really wouldn't be cool to hang out with her, no offense, man, but if she's so great then why hasn't anyone else dated her before. You keep trying to get one friend or another to hang out with the two of you, so others would realize how great she is. One Tuesday night in November, your group of friends invites you to hang out with them. After you respectfully decline, and try to convince some of them to hang out with you and the outcast girl instead, the smart girl says, "look, are you going to hang out with us or what?" After further protest, she says, "Dude, stop trying to convince everyone to hang out with your creepy girlfriend- we're all sick of hearing about it already," while rolling her eyes and wearing this dismissive, self-righteous bitchy look. You throw her a brief hurt, then a longer angry look, turn your back on the group, then walk away. You know you're girl's not perfect, but they won't even give her a chance. "You're just going to ignore your friends, then, weirdo?" mocks the smart chick. You shoot back, "Look, at least she doesn't 'borrow' (you make exaggerated air quotes) so much money from me all the time, you freeloading bitch," without even looking back or breaking your stride. You immediately feel guilty. She's really a good friend of yours, and most of the time you really like hanging out with her, but she's so goddamn stubborn and preachy sometimes. "Have fun with the fucking FERRETS, you pothead!" There are some muffled snickers and mumbling in the crowd as they all walk off in the opposite direction. That wasn't really fair of her. She smokes weed, too- it's just that she's not talking about legalizing it every waking minute of her life. And ferrets are cute, after all.
So you keep hearing your friends complaining about the girls they are dating, all of whom vaguely resemble either the cheerleader or the smart chick. They have mentioned a few times what their ideal girl would be like. You point out to them that they are pretty much describing the girl you're dating. The response is always something like, "err, no, dude, she's not quite what I had in mind." You ask how she is NOT what they are describing. No one can seem to put his finger on it. They just know that she's not really their type, it really wouldn't be cool to hang out with her, no offense, man, but if she's so great then why hasn't anyone else dated her before. You keep trying to get one friend or another to hang out with the two of you, so others would realize how great she is. One Tuesday night in November, your group of friends invites you to hang out with them. After you respectfully decline, and try to convince some of them to hang out with you and the outcast girl instead, the smart girl says, "look, are you going to hang out with us or what?" After further protest, she says, "Dude, stop trying to convince everyone to hang out with your creepy girlfriend- we're all sick of hearing about it already," while rolling her eyes and wearing this dismissive, self-righteous bitchy look. You throw her a brief hurt, then a longer angry look, turn your back on the group, then walk away. You know you're girl's not perfect, but they won't even give her a chance. "You're just going to ignore your friends, then, weirdo?" mocks the smart chick. You shoot back, "Look, at least she doesn't 'borrow' (you make exaggerated air quotes) so much money from me all the time, you freeloading bitch," without even looking back or breaking your stride. You immediately feel guilty. She's really a good friend of yours, and most of the time you really like hanging out with her, but she's so goddamn stubborn and preachy sometimes. "Have fun with the fucking FERRETS, you pothead!" There are some muffled snickers and mumbling in the crowd as they all walk off in the opposite direction. That wasn't really fair of her. She smokes weed, too- it's just that she's not talking about legalizing it every waking minute of her life. And ferrets are cute, after all.
No comments:
Post a Comment